


Before I Let You Go

by JasnNCarly



Category: One Life to Live
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-22
Updated: 2011-01-22
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: Destiny struggles with the progression of her relationship with Matthew.





	Before I Let You Go

**Before I Let You Go**

Everything had fallen into place, the perfect sign as to how the night would end, and it terrified him. 

Weather was perfect for the Fourth of July. The sun was bright yet unobtrusive as a warm breeze rolled through the air. 

As he drove towards the country club, Matthew tried to come to grips with life’s changes.

It had been nearly a year since they had decided to cross the line, level up as she had suggested long before that. Once Darren had stepped aside, there was no way he would let Destiny pass him by again.

One kiss, one confession of affection, and he had reeled her back in.

It was perfect, the only uncomplicated relationship either one of them had. Being around her was easy, she was honest no matter what the cost; it allowed him to do the same. If anyone disapproved of them, they paid it no mind. They were happy to live their life as the two of them against the world.

Matthew felt included and accepted with her. It was an even exchange of love which helped to remedy other areas of their life, most specifically with their families. They decided on an approach to everything, fully trusted only the opinion of their partner. Now, for the first time, they approached a decision with a maturity they were unsure they mutually possessed. 

As they neared graduation, it had become crystal clear they were headed in separate directions. She had gotten into Harvard, and he was set to help Clint run B.E. (despite his parent’s protest). This knowledge would hit them hard when August came, forcing their relationship to be tested by distance. 

Their relationship began to fill of days which prompted “now or never” to leave their lips. The idea had weaseled its way into their relationship, causing their kisses goodnight to last a little too long, hands to wander too close towards places forbidden.

They had ‘the talk’ which was open, honest, and mutually nervous. The decision had been made. Tonight was supposed to be the night, something they would always remember. Something they would share which no one could take from them. 

Matthew sat in his car for a moment, reminding himself to breathe as his heart pounded against the wall of his chest. It felt like his heart was more anxious than the rest of his body, ripping at his muscles as he tried to be cool, calm about the afternoon plans they still had to get through before their time alone. 

~*~

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Changing into her bathing suit, Destiny wished work had lasted longer. She wished she could have avoided this conversation just a little longer, “I’m in love with Matthew, Dani.”

Her friend hugged her towel tighter around her wet body, trying to mask discomfort, “That’s not what I asked.”

Destiny blew out a deep breath, shoving her work clothes into her back pack, “I think I’m ready.”

“You think?”

“Well…that’s the best I can do right now.” She moved to her hair, taking a pin out and allowing it to fall, “I don’t know anything except how much I love him. How much he means to me. Next month, who knows what’s gonna happen, and I—I can’t be afraid about losing him.”

“You shouldn’t have sex just keep him, Destiny.”

The word, the big three letter word, caused her to shiver. Her emotions were all over the place, wanting her boyfriend and fearing him all the same. Destiny began to touch up her makeup, “That’s not what this is. I love him. I want him to know how much, and…I’m ready.”

Dani let out a heavy sigh, allowing her towel to drop and walking over to her back pack in her bathing suit. Digging into the front of her bag, she returned to her friend and met her eyes in the mirror, “Here.”

Turning towards the packages Dani extended towards her, Destiny’s eyes went wide, “How long have you had these?”

“I’m not an idiot, okay? If you’re gonna do this, you should have a condom. The second one’s just in case he’s a total screw up.”

Destiny gave her a sarcastic look, snatching them from her hand, and warned, “If you don’t stop talking about my man, we gon’ have a problem.”

“Trust me, all guys are screw ups. Just look at what happened with me and Nate.”

Losing all hints of sarcasm, Destiny turned away from the mirror and met her eyes, “I’m sorry things have been rough between you two lately.”

“Don’t be. What Nate and I have is…complicated. Like you’ve always said,” Dani placed her hand to her friend’s shoulder, smiling, “Matthew’s always been yours.”

~*~

Matthew could not stop staring at her through the afternoon; each and every time she caught him then offered a small, knowing smile. 

The party was all around them, but they remained with Dani and Nate near the pool for most of the night – straying a couple times to greet family and grab barbeque.

Nate was still of no use to him, even though he and Dani were now friends. However, it was hard to be mad when Destiny was there, hugging him close every time they exchanged a tension filled stare. Matthew had no desire for Dani, remained happy she was attached to someone and not anywhere near his relationship with Destiny; but Nate was still trouble to everyone around him. The only reason Matthew hadn’t tried to get rid of him for good was because Destiny had made him promise to try, for her.

The four of them emerged from the pool, getting into two separate huddles and drying off. Matthew kept his towel draped onto his shoulder as he helped Destiny dry off, at first out of habit and consideration. By the end of the process, he forced himself to step away and tear his eyes away from her curves. Even if this was going to happen, there was no reason to give anyone such an obvious clue.

Destiny bowed her head, her towel tight around her, as she shivered slightly, “You’re not even gonna help me warm up?”

Smiling at her flirtation, Matthew leaned in and whispered, “I’m kind of afraid to.”

A blush colored the milk chocolate of her skin as she smiled up at him, “Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Matthew nodded, slightly embarrassed, and moved his towel down to a hug around his waist, “We should get dressed to catch the fireworks.” 

“Okay.” She said quietly, unafraid as she closed the distance between them. Holding his face in her hands, Destiny pulled him into a deep kiss and began to loosen her hold only after his arms had embraced her tight and his lips had returned her passionate favor.

Destiny laughed against his lips, urging him to release her. Stepping back, she bit her lip to try to conceal her smile and went to change for the fireworks.

~*~

It was so easy to get lost in his kiss, to feel so consumed by it that the rest of the world served only as background noise. What it could possibly lead to was their only problem. 

When she felt his fingertips brush against her mid-drift, Destiny forced herself to remain in their kiss. 

Mentally went over her checklist, they had drove to a secluded spot that they had been to a million times before. The night was still warm as the small town stayed up late for the holiday. They were laid out on a blanket, underneath a clear sky, and they were prepared.

All of this meant nothing when his hand began to slide up her shirt. 

Destiny pulled away, staring up into his dazed eyes, and trying to catch her breath, “Wait.”

Frozen, he hovered close to her while propped on his elbow. Matthew stared down confused with heated breath, “What? What’s wrong?”

His concerned stare made her want him even more, despite the anxiety holding her back. Mortified, she brought a hand to her forehead, “…I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong.” She could only imagine how she looked to him, what he must’ve thought, as she made such a sad excuse, “I’m so pathetic! Why can’t I just—“

“Hey…” His voice was gentle, a sudden calm she needed, as he removed her hand from its shielding of her face. Once their eyes had met, Matthew kissed her palm before holding it against his chest, “It’s okay. We don’t have to do this. We can wait.”

“We’ve been waiting.”

He gave a slow nod, a sharp laugh of agreement, “We have.” When seeing her scared look, he released her hand and caressed her cheek, “We’re used to it. Nothing has to change.”

Destiny blinked back tears, huffing, “But I love you, Matthew.”

“And I love you.” He responded easily with the words, kissing her forehead before reminding, “Which means we don’t have to rush anything.”

“I want to do this.”

“So do I.” Matthew awarded her a firm nod, releasing a heavy sigh, “But we’ve gotta be sure we’re ready.  _Really_  ready for all of it.”

“What about school? What about—“

“I’m not going anywhere, Des. This is all I want.” Matthew’s assurance caused her to smile despite the tears, “We’re gonna be okay. No matter what, okay?”

Destiny eased in his arms, relieved and safe, “…okay.”

When his lips met hers again, soft and adoring, they embraced each other tightly. Whatever did or did not occur that night meant nothing in comparison to the bond they possessed, love they already shared.

 


End file.
